My Relationship With Food...

"Ingredients are not sacred. The ate of cuisine is sacred.  It is at that alter I worship, and I shall go forth to sacrifice the fat geese and tender cattle to serve its ends.  The holy icons of a chef's faith; fragrant truffles, rich foie gras, well-marbled meats and other luxurious ingredients - these are not God.   Their synthesis and their miraculous transformation into a sum greater than its parts is creation, and this is what I find most worthy of reverence."
        -Tanith Tyrr

That my friends is my most favorite quote.  I have a different relationship with food than most people to.  Food is my life.  My source of income.  What I have spent my short time here on earth, focusing on.  I see food as a way of life.  Some say they eat to live, but in all reality I live to "eat".     Food brings people together.  Think of the holidays, birthdays, and all the other celebrations in between.   Other than the event or person we honor, what is the main focus, food.   Think about how much time we fuss over the menus we will serve.

Some people are just fine with going to the store and buying everything and anything pre-packaged.   Paying no attention to how things go together, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.    When I plan food for an event and even my daily meals, I plan based on the event/day,  the holiday, and whats in season.    Whether its just appetizers or a full 5 course meal, everything must compliment each other.    How will it look presented?   Will it be easy to eat?  If everything is eaten all in one bite, how will all the components of the dish "fit" each other.   Is it texturally pleasing to the mouth?    What will we be drinking?   Soda, wines, or champagne?     Who am I cooking for?   Plus then you have to work in everybodys likes and dislikes.   That is all just the beginning before I even hit the store.    All of this work pays off in the end.   At times I may over think things, as a lot of chefs do, but that is what I find most enjoyable.  The ultimate pay off is at the end of the meal when everyone is happy, when I can see the smiles creep across the room as they are taking their last bite of the creme brulee or bread pudding.  

Look into the history of the world.     Food has always been a symbol of power, of class, and of wealth.  If you were large, that usually meant that you were pretty well off.     Maybe in the back of my mind, deep down into my subconscious, that I associated with that.    That being large made me powerful.   I now know that that is not the case,  that being large has held me back from becoming "powerful" in my own way.   It's like I can see my path through this door.  I can see the life I want to have, becoming the person I want to be, but the door is too small.   I can't fit.   For as much as I try to cover up and slide through, no matter how much I squirm, I just can make it through.... The only way I can fit through this theoretical door is to lose the weight.    I can't wait for the day when I can grab a hold of that door knob, open the door, and walk right through into my new life without a single thing holding me back.....